These feet were made for climbing

It is an unfortunate consequence of my genetic make-up that I have monkey toes, but it's true.

Me, action star!

If I can be totally honest, I actually think my foot-fingers are totally badass. I can pick stuff up, I'm great at climbing things, you know, it makes me feel like a cool primate.

Well, now Wired had to come along with some bad news that I may be less-evolved than the rest of you.

When [scientists] analyzed force exerted by fifteen test subjects running and walking on a pressure-sensitive surface, they found that increasing toe length by just 20 percent produced a doubling of motor force...

Rolian also observed that longer toes require an additional energy investment when "braking," or using them to guide the forward-falling motion that underlies both running and walking.

The additional work required by long toes, and a resulting increase in muscle stress and damage, likely made them a victim of natural selection.

And yet, me and my monkey toes are still around, climbing stuff and getting into trouble. Where will it all end?? I have a suggestion: