Seattle isn't weird...you're the one who's weird

Let me relate the narrative I've gotten from Seattle since I've lived here:

• Our cops are busy punching people for jaywalking, when they're not being gunned down for no known reason.
• There's a 6'5" 19 year old going around living in peoples' homes, stealing their boats, and learning to fly their planes off of the internet (and then stealing and crashing the planes). He has a fan club.
• People have started raising chickens. For eggs. On their apartment balconies. Better yet, there are companies that are now prepared to design you a fabulous custom chicken coop or take you on a tour to see those owned by your neighbors.
• The locavore movement has gone completely off its rocker and it's now unacceptable to serve food that wasn't raised/grown in your restaurant.
• There is a Saw-like slaughterhouse-on-wheels roaming the streets.

Obviously, lack of sunlight and nightlife options has driven the people of the Pacific Northwest insane. You would never see this kind of weirdness in New York because people there have better things to do than make their own sauerkraut.

I'm going to start throwing parties. We'll call it a social service. Ooh, maybe I can even get a grant for it for the city for propping up the local moonshine industry.